https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15323#M670 A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols. He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing. The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot. Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night." The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way."<BR />The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him. He rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately. He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special talent. Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night." He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells." The wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead. Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the bird begins to sing "Chet's nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!" <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:">😄</span> Tue, 10 Dec 2013 15:22:02 GMT aoifem291 2013-12-10T15:22:02Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15147#M609 <P><EM><FONT color="#00cc00">What do you call a blind dinosaur? A doyouthinkhesawus</FONT></EM></P> <P>&nbsp;</P> <P>It’s that time of year again… We’re starting to get into the Christmas spirit.</P> <P>&nbsp;</P> <P>But a lot of you probably can’t start the Xmas boozing &amp; eating fest just yet…&nbsp; some have the wonderful semester 1 exams to overcome first! How about some Xmas Crackers to keep us in the Xmas spirit?</P> <P>&nbsp;</P> <P><EM><FONT color="#00cc00">What do you call two happy mushrooms? Fun guys</FONT></EM></P> <P><BR /> <FONT color="#00cc00"><EM>What fur do we get from a tiger? As fur as possible</EM></FONT><BR /> <BR /> And the list goes on…</P> <P>&nbsp;</P> <P>What’s your&nbsp; best Xmas Cracker? Best one gets a shamefully amazing Xmas jumper.</P> <P>&nbsp;</P> <P>&nbsp;</P> <P><IMG src="https://community.48.ie/t5/image/serverpage/image-id/1127iD1A93C266361E62E/image-size/original?v=mpbl-1&amp;px=-1" border="0" alt="Xmas Cracker Comp" title="Xmas Cracker Comp" width="453" height="220" align="center" /></P> <P>&nbsp;</P> <HR /> <P><FONT color="#808080"><STRIKE><STRONG>Comp starts: 9th December 2013</STRONG></STRIKE></FONT></P> <P><FONT color="#808080"><STRIKE><STRONG>Comp closes: 17th December 2013</STRONG></STRIKE></FONT></P> <P><FONT color="#808080"><STRIKE><STRONG>&nbsp;</STRONG></STRIKE></FONT></P> <P><FONT color="#cc0000"><STRONG>**** TIME'S UP! Comp has closed now, check out the winner <A href="https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15755#M701" target="_self">here</A>! ****</STRONG></FONT></P> <P><FONT color="#cc0000"><STRONG>&nbsp;</STRONG></FONT></P> <HR /> <P><EM><FONT color="#00cc00">&nbsp;</FONT></EM></P> <P><STRONG><FONT color="#000000">What to do?</FONT></STRONG></P> <OL> <LI><FONT color="#000000">Post your best Xmas cracker joke in this thread</FONT></LI> <LI><FONT color="#000000">Find out the winner in this same thread by coming back to check&nbsp;<SPAN>on the evening of 17th December</SPAN></FONT></LI> <LI><FONT color="#000000">Wear your new Christmas jumper! Oh wait - only one winner will get it so make your entry the best (or the worst!) as you can.</FONT></LI> </OL> <P><STRONG><FONT color="#000000">Comp rules</FONT></STRONG></P> <UL> <LI><FONT color="#000000"><SPAN style="line-height: normal;">You can only enter once (you're welcome to comment and Kudos other entries though!)</SPAN></FONT></LI> <LI><FONT color="#000000"><SPAN style="line-height: normal;">1 winner will be selected by 48 based on which entry is considered the BEST</SPAN></FONT></LI> <LI><FONT color="#000000"><SPAN style="line-height: normal;">Your entry is valid only if you post before we announce the winner on the 17th Dec</SPAN></FONT></LI> <LI><FONT color="#000000"><SPAN style="line-height: normal;">Keep your post clean, really offensive stuff will be removed.</SPAN></FONT></LI> </UL> <P><STRONG><FONT color="#000000"><SPAN style="line-height: normal;">Prize</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></P> <UL> <LI><FONT color="#000000">1 x Christmas jumper!</FONT></LI> </UL> <P><FONT color="#000000"><EM>&nbsp;</EM></FONT></P> <P><FONT color="#000000">Good luck!</FONT></P> Tue, 17 Dec 2013 12:06:16 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15147#M609 marionh 2013-12-17T12:06:16Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15159#M610 <P>Why did the turkey cross the road?<BR />Are you kidding? It's Christmas – he should run a bloody mile.</P> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 17:10:09 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15159#M610 gerardsheehan 2013-12-09T17:10:09Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15161#M611 What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?<BR />A Christmas Quacker! Mon, 09 Dec 2013 18:01:54 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15161#M611 niamhr 2013-12-09T18:01:54Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15163#M612 <P>What do you call a happy penguin ? A PEN-GRIN!!!</P> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 18:13:43 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15163#M612 cait_anseo 2013-12-09T18:13:43Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15165#M613 <P>&nbsp;</P><P><SPAN style="line-height: 15px;">what did one snowman say to the other?</SPAN></P><P>Can you smell carrots?</P> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 18:33:25 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15165#M613 Anon 2013-12-09T18:33:25Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15167#M614 <P>Who hides in the bakery at Christams?</P><P>A mince SPY!</P> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 18:41:25 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15167#M614 caoimhesaoirse 2013-12-09T18:41:25Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15169#M615 What kind of bee makes milk.... Oh god.<BR /><BR />A BOObee...... Mon, 09 Dec 2013 18:44:34 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15169#M615 Anon 2013-12-09T18:44:34Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15171#M616 What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a<BR />chimney?<BR />Claustrophobia! Mon, 09 Dec 2013 18:51:30 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15171#M616 Anon 2013-12-09T18:51:30Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15173#M617 <BR />Q - What goes oh oh oh!<BR /><BR />A - Santa walking backwards...<BR /><BR /><span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":slightly_smiling_face:">🙂</span> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 19:10:20 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15173#M617 1amcn 2013-12-09T19:10:20Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15175#M618 <P>What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?</P><P>Annette.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P><img id="manfrustrated" class="emoticon emoticon-manfrustrated" src="https://community.48.ie/i/smilies/16x16_man-frustrated.png" alt="Man Frustrated" title="Man Frustrated" /></P> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 19:23:13 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15175#M618 shpongler 2013-12-09T19:23:13Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15177#M619 <P><STRONG>Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop?</STRONG></P><P>It blew away.</P> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 19:30:07 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15177#M619 Anon 2013-12-09T19:30:07Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15179#M620 How does Jack Frost get to work?<BR /><BR />By icicle!!! <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":grinning_face:">😀</span><span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":grinning_face:">😀</span> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 19:46:21 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15179#M620 beau 2013-12-09T19:46:21Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15181#M621 <P>What do you get if you eat christmas decorations?</P><P>tinsillitis</P> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 19:55:46 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15181#M621 immadinosarrawr 2013-12-09T19:55:46Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15183#M622 <P>whats the smallest hotel in the world? my boyfriend, cause i have to leave my bags outside. <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":slightly_smiling_face:">🙂</span></P> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 20:24:48 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15183#M622 trevorbuckley 2013-12-09T20:24:48Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15185#M623 What's the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum,you just can't beat it. Mon, 09 Dec 2013 21:08:06 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15185#M623 watson98 2013-12-09T21:08:06Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15189#M625 <P>Q: 2 fish in a tank, what does one say to the other?</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>A: How the f*** do we drive this thing?</P> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 21:14:54 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15189#M625 digit 2013-12-09T21:14:54Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15191#M626 <P><SPAN>What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?</SPAN><BR /><SPAN>Claustrophobic.</SPAN></P> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 21:23:04 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15191#M626 katec92 2013-12-09T21:23:04Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15195#M627 What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?<BR /><BR />Twerky. Mon, 09 Dec 2013 21:36:39 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15195#M627 Anon 2013-12-09T21:36:39Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15197#M628 <P><FONT face="comic sans ms,sans-serif">What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?</FONT></P><P>&nbsp;</P><P><FONT face="comic sans ms,sans-serif">Twerky.</FONT></P> Mon, 09 Dec 2013 21:40:15 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15197#M628 Anon 2013-12-09T21:40:15Z https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15199#M629 What did Adam say on the 24th December !<BR />It's Christmas EVE ! Mon, 09 Dec 2013 22:08:27 GMT https://community.48.ie/t5/Just-Hang-Out/Xmas-Cracker-comp/m-p/15199#M629 barbra 2013-12-09T22:08:27Z